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ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Four out of five physical therapists now recommend the technique of astral projection for dealing with chronic pain, sources from the American Physical Therapy Association confirmed today.
“Our best practices don’t change often,” explained Diana Riley, one of the top physical therapists in the nation. “We have decades and decades of rigorous scient...
The British Isles are home to more than 67 million people. One of the rarest sights is that of a wild David Attenborough. Regarded for his wispy white hair, sardonic wit, and disarming demeanor, he has become one of Britain’s most beloved creatures. Secret cameras disguised as common household items have allowed us to view this centenarian in his native habitat.
...DUMONT, N.J. – Former Misfits frontman Michale Graves expressed his plan to storm Heaven’s Gates if his recent pivot to Christian music does not result in St. Peter letting him in, sources report.
“I learned from Donald Trump that you should never take no for an answer,” Graves told reporters. “That’s why I went to Washington D.C. on January 6th, and I don’t see why...
MUNCIE, Ind. — After 11 years together, local married couple Sam and Elizabeth Kramer are worried that they no longer have anything to discuss on their podcast, anxious sources confirmed.
“I never thought we’d be one of those old couples that just sit there silently across from each other when they’re podcasting, but now it’s starting to happen,” said Elizabeth Kram...
OMAHA, Neb. — A strain of hantavirus erupted on the Hondius cruise, infecting somewhere between 3 and 97,000 people, confirmed sources who didn’t realize there were that few or that many cases.
“There is a high variance in numbers, because hantavirus isn’t a disease that spreads extremely rapidly…except for all the times that it does,” said CDC Director Jay Bhattac...