Donald Trump has "aced" a brand new cognitive test asking him to distinguish between pictures of reflecting pools and skyscrapers, the US president has revealed.
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After Twitter added a feature showing that the locations of many high-profile, well-followed political accounts were actually outside the countries they purport to represent, Elon Musk has insisted that this was his plan all along.
As a regular contributor to the NewsThump comment threads, I'd like to thank NewsThump for this opportunity to explain how they're getting satire wrong.
A group of patriots have announced they will loot their local Apple Store in the name of justice.
Deacon Blue did not write "A van called Didnae See" about Nicola Sturgeon. So we did.